It?s easy during wedding planning to get entirely caught up in the day and not think about the lifetime that follows. It?s interesting to think that so much attention gets paid to the party and not what happens afterward.
Relationships grow and change, just like the people in them. I think this is a large reason why people who get married really young have higher rates of divorce. According to the National Center for Health Statistics 60% of marriages for couples between 20 and 25 end in divorce (it drops to the national average of 50% for 25 and older). That high rate is really sad. (It?s even higher for second marriages?65% end in divorce according to my counseling exam study materials.)
I am very cognizant of my relationship with Sparky and putting effort into making it work. A large part of this awareness comes from my own family: my dad is on his fifth marriage and my mom has been married twice. I want this marriage to be my only one, and Sparky feels the same. (Lucky him, his parents are still happily married. It?s amazing!).
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Anytime I see an article from a married friend about making marriages work I try to read it. This is to educate myself and really help to focus not only on the celebration day of our commitment but on the commitment itself.
The most recent article I read it called ?3 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married.? It?s a good article on what really changes when you go from being two single people in a relationship to a married unit.
- Marriage is not about living happily ever after.
- The more you give a marriage, the more it gives back.
- Marriage can change the world.
The message I took from the article was this: marriages don?t suddenly fix relationships?problems you had before will still exist. But if you?re willing to do the work, both for your partner and for the marriage itself, then wonderful things happen.
?My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.?? ? Jack Benny
On a day-to-day scale, our lives will likely not change that much. We?ll have some new jewelry, I?ll (most likely) have a new last name. We?ll still wake up, go to work, come home, and do our things, both separately and together. On a grand scale, however, our lives will change. We?ll be united and committed to each other in a legally binding way, and that might just be enough to change the world. Our own, at the very least.
What do you think? What makes marriages work or not work?
Source: http://www.weddingbee.com/2013/05/14/marriage-advice-5/
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